Ich bin Gemüse!

While we’re in Germany we’ve decided that it’s not enough that we lay around the house doing nothing, occasionally butchering some German, eating a bladder and gushing over Better Off Ted, 30 Rock, Community and Archer. So we’re determined to enrich the German culture, which has given us so much (pretzels, schnitzel, bladders and compound nouns), by introducing some fun new terms.

Be gems and help us spread them, will you?

OK the first:

“Ich bin Gemüse!”

Literally meaning: “I am vegetables”. But if you really sound out “Gemüse” you’ll undoubtedly note the underlying tone of sadness. So, naturally, when you’re not feeling overly happy you’d TOTALLY say “Ich bin Gemüse. Ich bin GEMÜÜÜSE.”

The Germans aren’t loving it....yet....but it’ll happen. It’ll happen.

The second:

“Leuts” (pronounced “loyts”)

So you know how when you’re really cool – like when you go to KFC and don’t even care what other people think of you? And  then – when you’re speaking English in between bites of your Tower Burger – you say “peeps” instead of “people” (because you’re too cool to say “people”)?

Same concept only with “Leute” (which means people in German).

Like, “Yo yo my Leuts, let’s go smash some KFC!”

Because that’s cool.

And finally the third:

“Get Simon and Agnes a job in Germany!”

 That one just means what it says. Make it happen, please. Ploise...

We’ve also think that English speakers should start saying “party lion” instead of “party animal”. Just a thought.

Once more for emphasis

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Munich!

So yes, admittedly it's been a little while since I've put anything up. But hey ho writing a book and moving countries is not easy. Especially for someone with psychotic panic tendencies. And boy do I have those. Oh I can panic like nobody's business. Like the week before we left for Germany when I spent most of my time in a pseudo-drooling foetal position paralysed by the prospect of not finding work in Munich. Because without work there is no warm apartment and with no apartment there are no friends and with no friends THERE IS NO HAPPINESS. And when my arse is frozen to a Munich kerb I want to be jolly! How else are people going to be willed or frightened into giving me enough money to buy a return ticket to Australia?

But enough about my future return plans.

The book is almost finished, Munich is lovely and our trip here has been rather fantastisch. Look:

Magnes does deutschland

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In preparation for the big move

It is exactly seven and a half weeks until Mark and I take off for the great unknown. Or, as most of Australia prefers to call it: Germany.

Our plans have shifted a little, in that we’ll be moving straight to Munich and we have organised for a housemate. More precisely, the universe proved that it is one cool cat and convinced my best friend Simon to move to Germany.

Amazing, right? Thanks Universe! Now find us a place to live and get me a job.

But it turns out that when it comes to things like that, the Universe would rather just sit back, crack open a beer, watch and laugh. I can’t blame it.

At the moment this is where we stand:

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