The cartoon me

When we were in high school my best friends and I dedicated a lunch time to determining which Disney princess each one of us would be. You know, just in case suddenly the world turned into a cartoon. You just never know.

After some discussion, it was decided that Sheree was Aerial (from The Little Mermaid), I was Bell (from The Beauty and the Beast) and Janu and Jo were both Jasmine (from Aladdin).

Just in case you hadn’t realised this before, you’ve just stumbled across the girliest moment of my life…don’t get too comfortable, we’ll be leaving here shortly.

Anyway, so there we were, delirious with dagginess and happiness and more dagginess (because let’s face it, most normal teenagers get drunk and smoke bongs), giggling.

Skip forward a decade and here I am, as daggy and hooked on Disney movies as ever. But I’ve come to see the error of my ways. I am nothing like Bell. Really. Aside from a period during which Mark grew his hair and occasionally forgot to shave and I danced around the house talking to crockery, there is very little resemblance.

I’ll leave the character analysis for you to do as homework, but let’s just agree that there is no way that Bell would ever write about a gassy ferry ride.

Don’t fear for my state of cartoonlessness though, I have found a more fitting replacement. Or rather two. You’re probably familiar with Pon and Zi. They’re two little bald characters created by Jeff Thomas and when you see some of these pictures, you’ll have to agree – I have finally found the cartoon me:

For anyone shaking their head, this is the one that wins it: