Black Russian

Mark was all eager about this drink until he saw the ingredients. He may never drink cocktails again.

I ordered five.

Laundry lesson

This is the reason why you should never put a 100% merino wool beanie in the dryer. Especially if the washing instructions say “do not tumble dry”.

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Dedication

Is turning up at the airport at 6am on a Friday dressed as a koala.

Music to my wardrobe

I’ve realised music has a strong influence over my mood. Like, for example, whenever I listen to Angus and Julia Stone or the Idan Raichel Project I want to run to the nearest clothing store, buy a beret, put it on and stroll the streets. Preferably when it’s raining.

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Fixing my technology karma

Yesterday I made fun of a couple who got married by a robot. Then this morning my USB died. Actually first it swore at me, then it flashed me with its arse, then pulverised all of my hard work and then it died. It. Was. Pissed.

So I've decided to make amends and stop the technological torment before it goes any further. I don't ever want to fear my toaster.

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No, ten year olds didn't raid my workspace...

What you are seeing, ladies and gentlemen, is at once the beginning of a feature article on diversification and the reason why today's blog isn't going to be overly thrilling.

Please try to understand. I'm saving all of my humour for the part where I talk about risk insurance.

One way of saying "you really need a haircut"

MARK: She still reminds me of you.

ME: Really?

MARK: I think it's the hair.

I fail to see the resemblance:

Danger!

The turnstiles are pissed this morning.

Pizza night

Look straight past the clumsily-cut tomatoes that would make George Calombaris (from MasterChef Australia) go into hand-smacking, spitting convulsions. “You’ve got to get those tomatoes thinly sliced or the world will burn up taking restaurants and truffle butter with it,” he’d say. Well, sorry George, Mark and I don’t own sharp knives. We prefer to bruise our vegetables.

Other than that (and a raw potato issue I’d rather not discuss), I think we did quite well. What you are seeing in this picture is the potato, prosciutto, tomato and rocket pizza. We also made a barbecue meatlovers (no mystery who that was for) and a honey-caramelised onion and Swiss cheese pizza. Of course in all of our cooking excitement we only remembered to take a picture of the first one and we ate the rest with reckless abandon. I know what you’re thinking: that’s so typical from people who own blunt knives, like school during summer break: no class. And, of course, you would be right.

Be afraid

You have been warned.