Fixing my technology karma

Yesterday I made fun of a couple who got married by a robot. Then this morning my USB died. Actually first it swore at me, then it flashed me with its arse, then pulverised all of my hard work and then it died. It. Was. Pissed.

So I've decided to make amends and stop the technological torment before it goes any further. I don't ever want to fear my toaster.

Seeing as the wrath came after I declared that I'd never let a lisping fridge with a wreath on its head perform my wedding ceremony, I think I've figured out a way to make it right.

Listen, oh gods of technology, I am prepared to let any one of these pieces of technology preside over my wedding. I've even made special wreaths for them...

Are we friends yet?