The fanciest part of my day

When you’re working from home – like I’ve been working from home – style goes down the shitter pretty much immediately. Sorry about the language, but it’s true.

I went from girl with socially-acceptable standards to sloth-like creature in Mark’s track pants faster than you can say “can you train your pet flies to stay in your room when you come down for dinner?”

My transformation happened on my first day as a commissioned book author. Not that I’m blaming my publisher – I’m pretty sure she’d be as horrified as the rest of the world if she saw what I looked like on a daily basis. I’m just saying that when you imagine Jane Austen penning her delightful works, you should be aware that she was probably wearing giant pantaloons and using quills to keep the hair out of her face.

I can’t back that up. It’s probably not true.

But I bet that Miss Austen didn’t have to contend with Dirty Harry in her ear. That’s what my inner sloth sounds like. It smokes a cigar, glides its finger alongside the trigger of a gun and suggests that I grab the baggiest T-shirt out of Mark’s daggy draw and throw it over some unloved track pants. Harry knows sexy. And now I do too.

A little unfortunately for them, Mark’s parents have also had to bear witness to my new sexy, which has given them a unique opportunity to see what it would be like to take in a homeless crazy person. And I can tell you, they won’t be doing that any time soon.

Rather than be cast down by my terrifying state, however, I’ve decided to be positive and hold on to the smaller victories.

Like, hey ho I had a shower and washed my hair today.

Which leads me straight into what I wanted to talk about. Finally! I know, you’ve all been very patient…

The fanciest part of my day is when I survive a beating from our shower, put on a bra under my daggies and walk downstairs for dinner. Then I sit at the table and think “I’m wearing a bra. I am one classy lady.”

For the fashionistas who are all “that’s not classy,” I think I have something that will win you over. Today I’m meeting up with a friend whom I haven’t seen in months and the fanciness of this occasion has not been lost on me. I plan to wear some jeans, one of my own tops and a bra.

Applause. Applause everyone!