My identical twin who is me

At the end of June, I got a call from a friend who I hadn’t spoken to in a really long time. He called for two reasons:

1. To find out when I was leaving for Germany
2. To ask when I had become the face of Fast Impressions (the singles site)

Um What?

Fast Impressions. You know, the singles site. The one that sometimes organises speed dates and things. When did you get involved with it?

The answer to that, ladies and gentlemen, is never. I have never gone to a Fast Impressions event.

I’m not a Fast Impressions hater. I don’t burn condoms at the front of Sydney’s glitzy clubs or re-set the clocks at speed dating events or anything. I’m just too busy looking unattractive at Mark’s parents’ house to lead a secret single life.


But what about the photo?

What photo?

The one of you in the promotional flyer.

There’s a flyer?

Oh yeah.

Well unless the person in this flyer is styling her hair to look like a racoon, chomping on some furniture while dressed in Mark’s grey trackie-dacks, it’s not me.

That settled it. We agreed that I must have a doppelganger who is much better with flattery, hygiene and small talk. Or maybe a twin.

So my friend emailed the flyer to me. Just in case I wanted to reconnect.

You can’t imagine my relief that I don’t have a smooth-talking sexy single twin prowling the streets of Sydney in search of Mark.

On the flipside, this means that my face is plastered on a “Friday Fix Up” flyer.

I’m taking it as Sydney’s way of saying “you may not have come to the party I held, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be in denial about it.” And I’m okay with that.