Why you should expect a technological revolt

So the fascinating thing about Zebra Finches, and maybe all other types of finches as well (I don’t really know, it’s not like I read EVERYTHING I could about these birds so as not to kill Dumpling), is that each male makes up his own song. He draws inspiration from his dad and from whatever he hears in the environment and then crafts a completely unique masterpiece.

We’ve never met Dumpling’s dad, but we’re moderately confident that he was a cyborg, because Dumpling sounds like a cross between a modem, a fax machine and some kind of beeping device. Like maybe a microwave. Or an atom bomb. And he’s so taken with his composition that he trumpets it out every few seconds. Feverishly.

We suspect that he’s mounting an army of printers to take over the world. So maybe don’t make plans for Saturday.