This is happening!

Yuri is deserting me! He’s going to Brazil for a whole month. A whole month! So many Yuri-less days! 

Understandably I’ve fallen into a bit of a panic and look to the future with a darkening sense of foreboding. I think this is probably how I’ll spend my time:

Day 1 – 2: Cry profusely, screaming Yuri’s name into the night (at half hour intervals)
Day 2 – 4: Repeat
Day 4 – 10: Create a Yuri puppet made of Yuri’s hair, which I’ve been secretly collecting, and some of his clothes, which he left behind. And also toothpaste.
Day 10 – 15: Realise that the Yuri puppet won’t talk back and throw it out the window in a fit of anger. Then cry, screaming his name.
Day 15 – 20: Convince myself that I could be Yuri. Dress in his clothes, cut my hair short, fashion it into an afro, talk to myself (in Portuguese, of course), take myself out to the cinema, catch up on all of the ANTM cycles, skip down the street with myself, swinging my own hand.
Day 20 – 30: Kill everything in my sight.

 Yuri, don’t go!