What now?

You've got me celebrity trash. After years of resisting, of not knowing (or caring) which celebrity did what to their chin and which set of "you know they're not real" boobs that chin is currently hanging out with, I've fallen into your trap. I read this story and I've become all involved in it. The sort of involvement that shows that I care. And I do. And for that I'm part embarrassed and part angry.

In my usual fashion I will explain. The story is about the trainer from The Biggest Loser, Jillian The-Only-Thing-Brawnier-Than-My-Arms-Is-My-Smile Michaels. Speaking to Woman's Health magazine she said that she doesn't ever want to get pregnant because (wait for it) she "can't handle doing that" to her body.

Okay I'll be the first to admit that the thought of a screaming baby tearing its way out of my vagina is not my idea of fun, but it's a whole lot more natural than doing 50kg weights with your nipples. Which, it seems to me, she probably does.

The article goes on to say that Jillian has battled through childhood weight issues and is terrified that she'll be fat forever if she falls pregnant. Umm...I don't even know where to begin. It seems like she honestly believes that if she falls pregnant she'll suddenly explode out to 400kgs and will never be able to lift a car using only her index finger again. I would hate to live in her brain.

It probably won't surprise you that her statement has drawn a fair bit of criticism. Apparently a fitness role model shouldn't tell people that getting pregnant is a fitness no-no. Who knew?

Don't worry, she also has some fans who support her decision to adopt. Personally I'm not sure she's got the whole idea right. She did say: "when you rescue something, it's like rescuing a part of yourself." To me it seems like she's just repeating her message: "whenever you rescue something, it's like you're rescuing your body from natural birth". Then again maybe she's talking on a deeper level. I'd like to know which part of herself she feels needs rescuing...

Now I just have two questions:

1) Can you put "I want to adopt a thin, sculpted, muscular baby because I don't want to ruin my killer abs while giving birth to one." on an adoption form and be taken seriously?

2) What kind of mother will you be if you're that into fitness? I.e. will that kid ever get to experience the glory of greasy KFC after a big night out? Because that, in my opinion, should be one of the adoption qualifiers.

Bah. I'm toasting Jillian and her commitment to herself with a large McChicken meal. Cheers!