And the most inappropriate photo goes to...

The pregnant couple fornicating in front of the camera...

I know you're probably wondering whose "special drawer" I've been rifling through to get my hands on this image. What I am about to tell you may come as a bit of a shock and trouble you more than anything I could do. Well, that's probably not true, but at the moment I have plenty to blog about, thank you. I dare say it's going to be at least several months before I start exploiting my friendships.

Anyway, I found this image on an image sharing site. I know this is hard to comprehend, so I'm going to make this even clearer: the people in this picture wanted for their lovefest to be seen.*

Ever since I saw it awkwardly (and overly sexually) sitting between images of babies and picnicking families, one thought has been plaguing me: WHY WOULD YOU TAKE A PICTURE LIKE THAT?

Clearly it isn't something you'd send to your mother. Well I don't know, maybe you would. I don't even know your mother. Maybe she's into that kind of thing. But it isn't the sort of picture I would send to my mother so I thought I'd come up with a list of reasons of why someone would take a picture like that.

Unfortunately, after some thought (and some really far fetched ideas), all I had written down was "amateur preggo porn" and "why does she have her bellybutton pierced at such an advanced stage in her pregnancy?" (which is really just about the same thing). So I decided to change my strategy and come up with a list of reasons why I think this picture was taken with pornographic intentions in mind:

1. The aforementioned bellybutton piercing suggests unsavoury, unclean practices.
2. Because the man's trousers are unbuttoned. There are three main reasons why a man unbuttons his trousers and only one that involves a camera.
3. The woman has the giddy/naughty-but-posed look of an amateur. It says, "Make it believable Maggie. Make it believable".
4. If you observe the photo closely you'll notice that the man is in fact kissing the woman's hair and not her neck, but he maintains the facial expression of someone who is in a very deep Tantric state (then again maybe he's just catching up on lost sleep. Who knows?).
5. There is just somethign creepy about their body and hand positions.
6. The woman is wearing a maternity sports bra which suggests this isn't a high-budget production.

There, I think six reasons is enough, although I'm sure you could come up with more if you wanted to. I'd suggest you stop looking at the picture now.

*I should also add that, somewhat inappropriately, the photo was tagged "mother" and not "amateur preggo porn".