Emilia was born in Sweden, in the small town of Kiruna in Nordland. Which means she’s technically not even Norwegian, even though she sometimes sounds like she might be.
It also meant that she was often the focus of taunts by friends Simon The Melodious, Gustav The Immer Story-Telling, Agnes The Dim-Witted and Mark The Cackling.
But little did this brilliantly funny group realise that it was making a huge mistake and unleashing a new kind of anger onto the world...
On one otherwise-insignificant day Emilia tore her way to Palace de Geyerstraße via Marien Platz, where she made it a habit to arbitrarily drop off her shoes; for it had a great door just made for that sort of thing.
Then she came stomping in – a stolen baby in one hand, a pancake in the other – looked at the startled residents and said, “I’m leaving you and Munich. You saldnav odsniva;lv...”
Some of that was unclear because she was speaking Norwegian.
Then she departed, leaving a sense of emptiness and a lone pair of shoes hanging around like a bad smell from a pair of shoes that had been left behind by an angry Viking woman. The very next month she donned her glorious horned hat and set sail for her beautiful homeland.
Legend goes that if you’re very still at night and hear a baby crying, it’s probably Emilia snatching it out of its mother’s arms...
0 comments:
Post a Comment