The tale of the silver cock-ring

DISCLAIMER: This blog post will have pictures of above mentioned piece of...er...attire, as well as general nudity. My belief is that if it’s acceptable at the Englischer Garten, there’s no reason for it to be banned from my blog. If you’re not into it don’t scroll down. You have been warned.

With that out of the way, and because it probably isn’t as clear as it should be, this blog post is about Easter. We spent our first German Easter in the most German way we knew how: by getting among a whole lot of naked people at the Englischer Garten.

What we’ve discovered – and rather rapidly – is that Germans (at least a good portion of the local Munich ones) love to get their kit off. They love being naked! Our first clue was a nearby Isar sandbank which fills with nude, overweight, leathery gentlemen on sunny days.

The second clue was our good friend Yuri (responsible for the whole picnic idea) who spent the planning stages exclaiming with unbridled glee that we’d be right near the naked people. THE NAKED PEOPLE! You know, people who’ll be NAKED! And that we should bring a volley ball because playing volleyball is fun. Oh and NAKED PEOPLE!

Finally there was the actual walk through the park...or, more accurately, the weaving and dodging of saggy body parts and the diverting-away of eyes. But aside from the fleshy environment, the atmosphere was lovely, the weather warm and the food and beer delicious (you’d better believe we smashed two buckets of KFC chicken).

Of course things did get a little strange...three in particular:

1. An elderly gentleman of about seventy took to parading around our section of the gardens wearing nothing but a silver cock-ring. Disturbingly, during every trip he took a few minutes to stand and lazily gaze around the area while fiddling with it. Casually. Slowly. Deliberately. Like he knew he had all the time in the world and there was nothing we could do to stop him.
2. A distinctively naked, distinctively pear-shaped middle-aged man decided to play soccer with two naked children of an uncomfortable age (that is about twelve or so). He leaped through the grass, setting his feminine butt cheeks a-jiggle and laughing as he tried to coerce the ball away from the youngsters. It was strange.
3. Closest to us was a rather large naked man. He had splayed himself out in the sun in the graceful manner of a walrus (if a walrus had two legs which it could spread out in order to let its ball-sack rest on the grass, I presume). There was nothing overly odd about this gentleman...until he whipped out a pipe – a proper wooden pipe – sat up and smoked it with the expression of a weathered sea captain. 

And now, to commemorate this most chocolaty of holidays, here are some pictures. Don’t click the link if you have an innocent mind which you don’t want tainted....otherwise, enjoy!

'Twas a lovely day for a picnic (don't mind the naked man under the blue umbrella):

The boys enjoyed a spot of volleyball:

Happy Easter!

Mark being quite the athlete:

Setting up:

And the famed cock-ring. You can't actually see it all that well - Mark protested when I put up my giant SLR camera, so I only managed to get a quick shot...you can see a little bit of the glittering reflection if you look close enough....then again, you might go blind: