Three simple reasons why it needs to snow

This time last year we were up to our armpits in glorious, white, powdery snow and Simon was sending everybody he knew panicked texts like “What do I do now?”

Sigh. Memories.

This year the temperature has done its part in dropping to sub-zero levels, but the snow hasn’t arrived yet. It’s very upsetting because – not sure if you’ve noticed – the cold isn’t much fun without snow.

So here are three reasons why it should snow RIGHT NOW:

Number 1: My health

I can’t fathom how it can look so warm when it isn’t, and therefore base all of my outfits entirely on what the weather looks like (warm, gorgeous) rather than what it feels like (an unwelcome reach-around). The fact that our apartment is set to a default temperature of “the centre of the sun” doesn’t help matters.

So yes, I have left the house in nothing more than a light spring jacket on many an occasion. Well no, sorry, I was wearing pants too. But I fear it’s only a matter of time before they get left behind.

Number 2: Munich's entertainment

The Christmas markets are opening on Thursday and the winter Tollwood festival on Wednesday and, obviously, you need snow for both.

Last year when I went to Tollwood I ate crapes, drank glühwein and fell over in a spectacular way in front of a bunch of friends and strangers. The incident is still fondly referred to as The All Singing, All Dancing and a Little Bit of Flailing Agnes Spectacular.

This year I’m thinking of involving a flashing red sign in the shape of an arrow and maybe a turnip. It’s going to be big.

Number 3: The master plan

My sister and her boyfriend are coming to visit in 27 days. There are no words for how excited I am, and how terrified Dumpling is, by this. Another member of my family? Here? You have got to be kidding, world! 

Anyhoo, Munich needs to be pretty and winter wonderland-y before she comes, so that her and Tim instantly fall in love with it and rip up their return tickets. This is the master plan.