A pattern

Bring your face to the screen. Now look really closely. If you’re a keen observer then you’ll notice that there is a pattern forming.
 That is, any time one of the following three factors come into my life I desert my blog:

1. The internet fails
2. I move house
3. Deadlines

Yesterday all three crashed into each other setting off all kinds of tremors. Honestly, somewhere in Iceland a mug got shaken off a table and hit an unsuspecting child on the head. My apologies for that, by the way.

I just wasn’t prepared. Even though four days of constant moving hell should have at least made one of the massive “deadline is impossible without the internet” bells in my head wobble; even though I’m constantly plagued by technological disasters…nothing.

So I went on packing boxes, unpacking boxes, smashing up cabinets and leaving them in dark alleys in covert stealth missions and pulling out my hair like any other person packing up their life and moving it to three different locations. It was peaceful. A bit like a wrecking yard or a demolition site.

But not once did my brain think of a contingency plan for getting the articles from my home laptop onto the work computer. The plan was: “email”. Rain, hail or shine: “email”. If the police discovered that I had dumped an ugly shattered cabinet in a street that needed no furnishing: “email from prison".
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Only of course you can’t email (or blog for that matter) without an internet connection. Believe me, I tried. And it takes quite a few frustrated hours to re-type every single article, plan and report that should have been easily emailed across…it takes even longer when – just coincidentally – the office network fails and freezes the work computer for a couple of hours. Don’t worry, the deadline got done, but Bill Gates has yet to answer my question “why does technology hate me?” I’ll keep you updated.

In the meantime I’m buying a typewriter and messenger meerkat…or training a porcupine to re-type my work…whichever one can best pull off this outfit: