Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Sweet, sweet revenge

This is the daily dinner routine for the cats in my parents’ household:

1) Kicia meows and screams until someone notices that Her Highness the Glutinous hasn’t been fed yet.

2) My mother drops everything she’s doing – including making herself some tea and relaxing – and pulls out two different types of sliced up meat (chicken and beef) from the fridge and puts some into Kicia’s bowl. She then takes a can of premium cat food and puts that into Kicia’s and into Hammie’s bowls. Then she tops up their dry food with three different types of premium dry food.

3) Kicia races over to her bowl, licks it clean, takes a moment to stare her hatred at the dry food and then races over to Hammie’s bowl at the opposite end of the kitchen.

4) She then proceeds to eat all of Hammie’s wet food as well, leaving him to nibble on the dry food.

5) If she’s eaten too much, too fast, she’ll throw up and then look at you – the person who is supposed to keep the house clean – in disgust. “What is my vomit still doing there? I threw that up whole seconds ago!”

6) All the while Hammie stands by, a little stunned, pondering what happened to his food.

But today...Today Hammie got to exact his revenge. If a cat could do an evil laugh, you’d better believe he’d be chuckling all over the place.

This morning Kicia made the mistake of leaving a little bit of food in her bowl and then taking a stroll outside.

Hammie stood at the window and watched as she crept her way through the garden. He followed her through the window all the way to the edge until he couldn’t see her anymore. Then he slivered his way over to her bowl and ate the remainder of her food.

Mwa ha ha (tell me you can hear that). Sweet, sweet revenge.

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