MIA: Gummy bears

I'm not sure whether anybody else has noticed, but gummy bears are really hard to come by these days. Following some serious cravings a few weeks ago, i went down to my local supermarket in search of them and was shocked to discover that they weren't available. The following morning I went to my work's local corner store (which, I should add, has all sorts of imported goodies like Reese's Peanutbutter Cups as well as a pick'n'mix lolly counter) and once again came up with nothing. The owner was apologetic but didn't know why he didn't have gummy bears.

Immediately I sensed that something wasn't right. Both places had jelly babies. Jelly babies! I don't know a single person who likes jelly babies. So, filled with concern and outrage I decided to do an investigative piece:

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Gummy bears on the brink on extinction?

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While the media stays ominously silent and government authorities do nothing a very special species of bear is being wiped out from Australia's mainland.

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Gummy bears or "gelatinous parcels of deliciousness" as they are otherwise known, were once common across the Australian continent. Their robust numbers and broad availability perhaps supported by a well-liked children's cartoon.

But with the cessation of the programme and Gen X and older Gen Y viewers grown up, it seems the bears fell out of favour with society and their fate was set to a new and treacherous course.

Nobody can be certain when gummy bears became endangered but one gummy bear advocate has claimed that she first noticed their disappearance from supermarket shelves in early 2010.

"I looked in the usual spot between snakes and jules and they weren't there," she said.

She also looked at several other outlets to no avail. She added that the situation was "unbearable" in a failed attempt at a witty pun.

So far there are no statistics regarding the true population of gummy bears in Australia, although there have been confirmed sightings at some larger pick'n'mix lolly bars as well as overseas. This has led some experts to deduct that the bears are still present in Australia although their numbers are rapidly diminishing.

At this stage it is unclear whether they have gone into some sort of sugar hibernation, got mixed up in bad society or have been eaten by Australia's expanding population.

In unrelated news, Australia's obesity rate continues to increase.