Dear mum,I have a bone to pick with you. Apparently, according to my good friend Anika and several other equally authoritatively-toned individuals I have you to thank for my industriousness and busy lifestyle.
Ordinarily this would be a cause for thanks, but here are several reasons why in this case, it is not:
- The part of the brain that in normal people is responsible for saying "no" seems to be inactive in me. In addition I seem to possess a destructive inclination towards volunteering for anything that comes my way. I fear that one day it might fall into the wrong hands and I will be powerless to resist an offer to help some deranged evil genius club baby seals.
- Due to the lack of said part of brain, I have committed to help bring to completion not only two websites, but also a play, a TESOL diploma and a Certificate I in German (on top of my full-time job). The result is that I now quite often find myself dozing off in inappropriate places and have, to date, covered the shoulders of unsuspecting train passengers, the counters of take-away food joints, my keyboard and most of the east coast of Australia in drool.
- In a bid to prevent my lapses of narcolepsy I have worked up an unhealthy dependence on coffee that has me looking as wired as a rabbit on speed (or, for those who know him, like my cowardly cat Hammie after he has spotted what is the movement of his own shadow, but what he believes is the vacuum cleaner demon coming to get him). On the up side, it has earned me gracious smiles from the owners of my local coffee shop. I suspect this is because my patronage pays their wages.
- With my time being taken up by working, memorising and catching up on lost sleep, I have reduced my beauty routine to little more than a shower and a shave (let me make this clear -- I refer to my legs, armpits and similar...I have not yet felt the need to shave my face). This means that things like my eyebrows, face and hair get left to fend for themselves. The result is that on most days I look like a bush pig that's had a run-in with Effie after briefly whisking through Dame Edna's wardrobe.
Love always,
Agnes
1 comments:
Hahahahahahahaha
I too have my mother to thank for the 'inability-to-say-no' gene. Since Ry also has it, it's probably going to be best if we have test tube babies. Especially since, continuing on the current path of self-inflicted destruction, we probably won't have enough time to make them ourselves.
Post a Comment