Friday tabloid: Eddie on thin ice over gay jibe

Seeing as it's Friday I thought I'd have a little dig in the trashy world of tabloid news for some devastating scandal that was picked up by the diligent journalists of The Daily Telegraph.

I was not disappointed. A simple click onto the home page revealed this picture:

There are several reasons why this made my spine tingle, not the least of which was because I was really interested to find out whether it was Eddie McGuire or the investigation against his gay jibes that was on thin ice. The sombre expression on Eddie's face and the beaming swan-like man in the background would suggest that it was Eddie and not the investigation, but I try to be supportive of my industry, so I clicked on the story.

To my great disappointment this had a far less catchy (though more accurate) headline: "Eddie McGuire, Mick Molloy to be investigated over gay Winter Olympcis jibe". I especially liked the typo.

For the full rundown I'm going to let you read the story and make up your own mind.

In brief:

While commentating on the male ice-skating, Mick Molloy said something along the lines of," these boys don't leave much in the locker room, do they?" and Eddie responded with, "they don't leave much in the closet either, do they?"

Although I didn't watch this "jibe" take place, I imagine that both of the men had a good chortle at their own wit - something that was most likely echoed by more than one (and here I'm going to stereotype) bloke named "Johnno", "Davo", "Stevo" and "Tony Abbott".

The remark was followed by more "quips" about Brokeback Mountain. I'm still uncertain which was more awkward: the quips themselves or the desperation of both men to slide gay references into their commentary. I wonder whether they had stayed awake the night before:

Eddie: Mick, the male ice-skating is tomorrow and all I have is "man these fags look gay".

Mick: That's all I have as well.

Eddie: Okay, what else is gay?

Etc.

Either way I'm not here to get into a debate over the origins or appropriateness of the comments. All I will say is that with a sense of humour like that Eddie and Mick have a blooming career in the Christmas cracker joke industry if the commentating gig doesn't last much longer.

Although primitive, their word smithery was enough to outrage self-proclaimed Sydney gay rights activist by the name of Gary Burns, who then went on an angry tirade about unlawfulness and vilifying homosexuals.

Again you can read this in your own time and make up your own mind about his argument.

The part of the article that delighted me was the creative initiative that the author took in relaying Burns' disposition: "These hired goons were not down at the pub drinking flat beer with their mates, they were on national television being viewed by millions of Australians," he stormed.

Oh how I love that. I don't believe I've ever come across a journalist who described an irritated individual as "storming", but I love the undertone of mental instability that it lends to Burns' diatribe.

The reader's comments after the story are both excellent social commentary and a treasure trove for anyone looking for reasons to leave Australia. I'll let you excavate them yourself.