Rudd expects good whacking

The Prime Minister of Australia, Kevin Rudd, yesterday stepped up to the microphone to say that he expects, and deserves, a good whacking.

Despite initial whisperings that the comments were related to some form of underground S&M activity; it was soon revealed that Rudd was speaking of polls and the reaction to undelivered election promises.

"I expect to be whacked in the polls, and I deserve it," he said in an apology to the nation.

He took responsibility over the insulation scheme, Labor's electoral promise shortcomings, those ugly red brick apartment blocks that were built in Australia in the 80s and several Australian television programmes including (but not limited to) Neighbours, Home and Away and Blue Heelers. He went on to say that if it would help in the polls, he was prepared to take the blame for Tiger Wood's indiscretions as well.

Tony Abbott put heat to the fire by describing Rudd as "rattled" several times. Once he tired of the insult, he added that the PM was also a "poopy head".

Abbott's supporters were too busy pumping their fists and shaking their heads at the Mardi Gras to mount strong support. Although, with just a trace of pride in their voices, they said that the previous PM, John Howard, had never apologised for anything.