Just like a Glade plug-in

I believe I have mentioned before just how ingeniously the current residents of Geyerstraße invent things. We are just three lab coats away from a Nobel Peace Prize or possibly ending humanity as we know it...watch and see.

Considering the delicate and ingenious nature of our inventions, we usually keep them pretty secretive. All of the time, we don’t even put them down on paper. You just never know who’s listening (usually nobody).

However, being generous as we are (and we are SUPER generous), we’ve decided to share some of our creations so that you can reap the profits and be all “WOW they sure are geniuses” and maybe, one day, repay us by making a movie about us. But whatever, it’s not like we’ll stalk you down and inappropriately sniff your hair if you don’t...

That’s not a promise.

I’m saying that we might.

Oh! Oh I can't. I just can't do this...I....I was just thinking about cats. And how so many are homeless and have whiskers and why can’t somebody just get me a basket of kittens?*

Hrrmm hrmm (the noise I make when I clear my throat)...so about a month ago, Simon and I were sitting on my bed and, oh I don’t know, doing something, when suddenly my iPhone was all WARNING 20% BATTERY REMAINING. CHARGE ME OR I WILL TURN OFF. And I was all “I don’t respond well to ultimatums, iPhone!” as I poured tabasco, toilet cleaner and a kitten into a shot glass and drank it (because I don’t respond well to ultimatums).

But, of course, then I went scampering about the room trying to find a power outlet. And that’s when Simon sat up a little and the air got very still and the kitten clawed its way out of my mouth. And we knew that we were, in that very moment, in the presence of genius.

“We need something that could charge our phones just by being in the same room with us,” Simon said inventively, and then clarified that this thing should be “like a Glade plug-in”.

Suddenly the skies parted and a two-man choir of angels dressed in Harry Potter outfits raised its angelic voice to the sky. A bit like this:

The fervour in the room escalated. Simon stood up. I also stood up. He flailed his arms. I panted. The choir just kind of stood there awkwardly.

“Glade plug-ins don’t stop. They just always fill the room with scent,” Simon shouted just a little too loudly.

Then we both reflected on how they do, but how usually that scent smells like toilet (albeit one bathed in lavender or cinnamon).

Making your toilet smell like food is weird.

“So if we could get something that plugged into an outlet and just let out charging energy, then all devices in the room could charge without the need to plug them in."

Ahhhhleeeeeluuuujaaaaa!

After some more discussion, we decided that maybe we should pitch this device more as “like wi-fi” than “like cinnamon-smelling toilet.” But whatever, potato potato (that works better when spoken, so be a dear and fake a red-neck accent for the latter, will you?).

We’ll take our round of applause now.

And in case somebody gets around to making it before us, just know that we created wireless iPhone charging. It was us.

Also, we still want that movie.

Please ask Angelina Jolie if she’d be interested in playing Simon.
 
Thanks.

*Sorry, I’m just not over this video just yet.